Pack My Soul In a Ragged Portfolio

Just Thinking…..

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My first year of teaching was painful…. horrible. I hereby apologize to all my former students from that first year, because I certainly did not give you what you deserved. I had a good education, but somewhere along the line, no one taught me how to handle all the paperwork that went along with being an English teacher. No one taught me how to translate what I learned in college into something to tickle the minds of high school students. No one taught me the stress of doing grades in an era before calculators. No one taught me about the horrors of parent/teacher meetings. They probably tried to teach me….. but I didn’t get it.

So besides going to the Army recruiting office to sign up at the end of that very long horrible year (they were closed, by the way, so I went back and signed my contract for year 2), I dealt with the pressures in my life by writing. That had been my pattern for years: put my fears and frustrations and confusions on paper. I had journals and notebooks and scraps of paper everywhere with my original writings and things that I had copied because they meant so much to me.

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During that terrible year, I wrote a poem about packing my soul into a ragged portfolio, touching on the rigors of being a first year teacher. To my surprise, it was published in our state education magazine. It didn’t alleviate all the pain from that year, but it helped. I found the courage to keep on going.

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That’s often been the purpose with which I write: to sort out pain and to get rid of pain. Sometimes I have questions that I want to explore. Sometimes I just want to be funny. Sometimes I have insights to share. Many times I just get philosophical and muse Scripture or inspirational snippets. I’ve published several articles, stories and poems over the years, won some writing contests, but that Soul in a Portfolio still remains special to me. I do more writing now on a computer than I do on paper, but the essence of writing/thinking/feeling/seeing is still there.

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My son also did a bit of writing. He wrote a poem about our family being like a lizard (yeah, really….). He stated that Dad was the head, overseeing the direction we would go. Mom (that’s me!) was the little feet pitter patting around to get everything done. And he saw himself as the tail…. which would one day break off. He was good at observation, watching those little lizards in our woods. But his sharp mind also saw the connections to life. And yes, his poem was published.

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Now my granddaughter is foraying into the field of writing. She has the intellect, the observation, the emotion of a writer. She is reading other writings and jotting down the parts that touch her and impress her. I want to encourage her to keep on reading, keep on writing, keep on observing, keep on thinking, keep on feeling, keep on listening, keep on BEING!!!! Don’t be afraid of your own words and thoughts. Don’t compare yourself too much to others. Be yourself because you are worthwhile. You have a story to tell; tell it the best way you can right now. Remember, dear granddaughter, you are Right Here…. Right Now….. Glory be.

Grab a journal and carry it everywhere. Write…. Write…. Write…. Make this your ragged portfolio….. carry your soul in it.

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And in doing so, you will echo your great great grandfather, who wrote in a journal almost every day of his life, once he learned to write. Dear Granddaughter, writing can be a way to find God, to find His perfect will, as your writing becomes prayers of praise and petition. Write!!!

O Father! You have given us the gift of language. You have given us the ability to see and think and feel. Help us to use these gifts wisely, and most of all, to use these gifts for Your purpose and for Your glory. You are what it’s all about.
To God be the Glory

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Published in: on November 9, 2014 at 9:52 pm  Comments (2)  

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2 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. This is absolutely warm, wonderful, and inspiring. Thank you for sharing these memories and encouraging your own Grand-daughter too!

    • Thank you, Sharon. You are always so sweet!!!


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