Wanna Buy My House?

Just thinking……

The Hubs called a real estate agent to come in a couple of days to possibly list our house. I’ve got really mixed feelings about this.

We tried to sell our house last spring and had it on the market for about 5 months. We had lots of lookers, but no buyers. I was really torn between elation and disappointment. Here’s the background:

All of the family lives out of state. We love them and miss them, and feel that we need to be closer to help take care of them. My parents are elderly and need more care, and the grandkids are there, too! We put a lot of prayer into the decision of listing and felt that we needed to be obedient to God’s will, whatever it may be. We felt that a move would allow us to better care for our parents and we felt that this would be in God’s will.

A large part of me did not want to move. So it was a real struggle during those 5 months, and actually rather a relief when the house didn’t sell and we took it off the market. I love my home. I love the area where we live. I’ve been here close to 40 years, and it’s home. We belong to a great church and have many wonderful friends. We are known and respected in the community, and it takes time to build a reputation. I didn’t want to start over. I didn’t want to take another driver’s license test. I didn’t want the hassle of packing, sorting, moving, unpacking. I didn’t want to close out utilities and try to open new accounts. I didn’t want to find a new doctor and dentist. I like our state’s low cost of living, and how part of our pension is exempt from state taxes. I like my part time job, and am not sure I could find another.

We designed and hand built this home. It was our dream come true….. a big solar home nestled into the woods, with a little creek at the back of the property. I know every inch of this house, and it’s hard to let go. I know that we’ll not find another like it, and certainly not one as energy efficient. When I go walking around the property, I see the benches that the Hubs made, and the firepit we built out of stones that we dug and dragged from the woods. I see the many flower beds and recall who gave us the starts. I think of all the nuts we picked up in the woods. I still can see my little boy, now a man, running and playing among the trees. I see the little orchard……

I have dreams about moving and then coming back to see what the new owners have done with the house. It’s never a pleasant dream.

So now……. the Hubs has called a real estate agent, and I find myself cleaning with a vengeance, making sure every thing is spit polished. In this economy, will it sell? Will it be agonizing? Do I really want to do this? Where will I go? How will I start over?

Yet, I still want to be obedient to God’s will. I don’t know why it didn’t sell before. And I know that God’s timing is exquisite and perfect. I know that He will direct my steps and light my paths. And yet my very human and emotional side cries out with distress and longing.

Oh Father! Take control of every part of me! May Your perfect will be done. And please…….. make it very very clear to me. Amen.

To God be the glory…..

Published in: on February 17, 2009 at 4:51 am  Leave a Comment  
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