Destiny….. or Choice?

Just thinking……


It’s Christmas time.  All the hoopla, the plans, the food, the gifts, the decoration, the shopping, the singing, the silver bells, the tree…… You get the picture.   And through the maze of activity and emotions that we call Christmas, one thought is standing out to me.


Jesus was born to die…  His destiny.   His choice.  I think of Jesus as having a dual nature….. a dual superhero., if you will…. being totally God and totally human.  As such, He made the choice about His destiny.  It wasn’t a pretty picture: full of blood and beatings,  pain, and false accusations and abandonment, but then sin rarely ends up pretty.  Amazing, isn’t it, that One so perfect, so blameless, so pure, chose to carry my dirt and sin.  He died so that I can live.  He lives so that I don’t die.  What a choice!  What a destiny!  And when I see the picture of the Baby in the manger, I always get another picture of a Man on a cross.  It all goes together to make a picture of love.

There are some awesome promises given in the Bible about how Jesus’s choice  impacts my destiny.




How fantastic is that!  The Lord has a plan for us!  And it’s good!  And He wants us to end up in Heaven with Him.  In fact, he’s preparing a place there right now for us!

And you know what:  I can make a choice about my destiny.  Yes, the Lord has those fantastic plans for me, but I don’t have to choose to accept them.   It’s sort of like picking out this wonderful perfect gift for your kid, and then the kid says he doesn’t want it, turns up his nose, walks away.  Ungrateful wretch…..

Am I any better if I turn down this gift of eternal life?  That was the plan: eternal life as a gift for me.   I didn’t have to go out and earn it.  I didn’t have to get so many items checked off a list to deserve this gift.  It was just freely given.   And I am an ungrateful wretch to let Jesus be born and die, and not accept it.  I have to make a choice, and that choice will determine my destiny.


And if you choose not to choose…. well…. that’s still a choice.  And it still carries a  consequence.


The next time you see a newborn child, be sure to appropriately ooh and ahh.  That baby is indeed a gift and a miracle.  Then ask yourself:  did someone way back when coo and admire Baby Adolf Hitlet?  Genghis Khan?  Charles Manson? What went wrong?  Didn’t they have the same opportunities to have an eternal destiny?

Jesus was born…. and died…. for even such low life as these.  But it seems as if they chose NOT to accept the gift.  (Disclaimer:  I can never judge anyone’s soul.  It’s not my job, and I’m not the least qualified.  For all I know, these guys may have repented with their last breath, and I hope they did.)

But the point is that whether I am a world famous murderer, or an unknown white-liar, or a small town gossip, it’s still choice and sin, and if I don’t choose Jesus, then I face the consequences.

Choices….. we all have them.  We all have to make them.  I would encourage you to take the gift of Jesus very seriously….. like your life depends on it.  Because it does.  Destiny….. what God has planned for us.  Pre-destined…… God knowing ahead of time exactly what choices you will make.  He doesn’t do the choosing for you.  No one can snivvel out an excuse that you had no choice, that you were handed the bad cards, that you were forced into a life of crime, violence, rebellion, and sin.

The good news is that even if you chose this life of crime, violence, rebellion, jealousy, hatred, cheating, adultry, stealing, lieing…  SIN!….. you can still make the choice for Jesus.  What a gift!!!!

OK.  It’s Christmas.  It’s cheery and ho-ho-ho fun in a red and green world.  Sing your heart out.  Dive into those gifts, and be grateful and write thank you notes.  Enjoy watching others open your gifts.  Give out hugs and mistletoe kisses.

But never forget that there is choice…. and destiny.

Father, help me remember why Jesus was born.  Thank You that You gave me that choice to accept this gift.  Help me live a life of gratefulness, and to share the gift with others. Amen

To God be the glory,


Published in: on December 17, 2017 at 11:31 am  Leave a Comment  
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This Gathering Darkness… and This Little Light of Mine

Just Thinking…..


L. V….. One more tragedy, piled on weeks of tragedy, piled on years of tragedy, piled on decades of tragedy….. to the point that it becomes more than a mind can comprehend. We cry, shake our heads, rant, seek justice and revenge…. and become numbed.


I don’t know if mental illness played any factor in the events in LV. I do know that we have dropped the ball in caring for those who live in their distorted worlds. I know that gun control will surface again as an issue. I see no harm in the average law abiding citizen having a gun. I cannot fathom any reason, tho, why this citizen needs an assault weapon. One who is obsessed with killing, whether mentally ill or not, will just find other ways if guns are completely eliminated.


This prevailing numbness of America, this growing darkness, this raging division …. We all can agree that it is not healthy, not desirable, not an environment in which we want to live with our families. What we fail to agree on are root causes and solutions. Evil surrounds us; this is not new. But how do we resist evil…. fight evil….?

“The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.” (Edmund Burke)

I’m not necessarily a good person. I’m a sinner, saved by grace. I’m just a common person who observes, an ordinary person in an ordinary place. I’m a follower of Jesus who believes His truth. I don’t pretend to know all the answers, nor will I force my conclusions on you.

But just so you know, here are those conclusions:
1. We need to strengthen our families. Start with our own families.  Start tonight.
2. We need to be kind, forgiving…… not rude.
3. We need to listen, to have civil discourse.
4. We need to not be afraid to reach out to our neighbor.
5. We need to be free to worship and express faith.
6. We need to passionately care for others.
7. We need to compassionately care for others.
8. We need to know our history: the good, the bad, and the ugly.
9. We need to take time to think, to observe, to ponder.
10. We need to write a poem, dance, create art, sing, pray….. instead of destroying and defiling.

Note: there is nothing in this article that calls for a protest, or an extreme law to be passed. It is simply a list of ways that I…. you…. and your children…. can do something to make a positive difference. I can no longer wait for someone else to make the difference. I have to start where I am.  And I am right here…. right now.  This little light of mine can fight this gathering darkness.



Father….. Show me where to be light in this dark world.  Protect us from evil. Amen.

To God be the glory…..


Published in: on October 2, 2017 at 10:15 pm  Leave a Comment  
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What Does an “I AM” Look Like, Anyway?

Just thinking….


I am a visual person. I remember things better when I can see them. I remember lectures better when notes are put on the board or screen. I can describe people, places, things in great detail if I have seen them….. even decades past! So it’s no great surprise that pictures of Jesus help me understand Him and worship Him better.

The problem, of course, is that there were no Kodak moments 2000 years ago. No Canons…. no cell phone cameras. So I have to turn to word pictures. And how wonderful that the WORD gives many pictures of Jesus!

Our pastor this morning spoke of Jesus as the I AM in word pictures, and it intrigued me.

Let’s begin with Exodus 3:13-14.

Moses said to God, “Suppose I go to the Israelites and say to them, ‘The God of your fathers has sent me to you,’ and they ask me, ‘What is his name?’ Then what shall I tell them?”
God said to Moses, “I AM WHO I AM. This is what you are to say to the Israelites: ‘I AM has sent me to you.’ ”

Note: The name was not “I WAS”…. nor “I WILL BE”. Not even “I MIGHT BE”. It was right now, in the present…. which is exactly when I need Him most!

Then, jumping ahead in time, Jesus made an important series of I AM statements, and these are the exciting images that really stick in my brain. And of course, since God is three parts: Father, Son, Holy Spirit, then it stands to reason that the God of the Old Testament can use the same wording as the Jesus of the New Testament. They are one.



John 6: 35. Then Jesus declared, “I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty.”

Bread…. A staple, satisfying, filling, a source of strength. Yes, Jesus is that for me!




John 8: 12.  When Jesus spoke again to the people, He said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”

Light…. Showing me the way, keeping from tripping and danger. Yes, Jesus is that for me!



John 10: 7. Therefore Jesus said again, “Very truly I tell you, I am the gate for the sheep.”

The Gate….. Protecting me from the evils outside. Yes, Jesus is that for me!




John 10:11. “I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep.”

The Shepherd….. Knowing what I need, and providing. Knowing when I am in danger, and protecting. Knowing when I am lost, and finding. Knowing when I am off the path, and guiding. Yes, Jesus is that for me!



John 11:25. Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die.”

The Resurrection and Life….. I have watched the first green signs of spring, pushing thru the cold soil……. Have seen corn become life from a seed that died, have observed the lilies which one day were not and then they existed in glory. Yes, Jesus is that for me!


John 14: 6. Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.”


The Way…. the Truth…. the Life…. The correct path gets me to my destination.  Anyone who tries to detour me off that path is false, not truth, giving me lies about my destination.  I want that narrow path to eternal life! Yes, Jesus is that for me!



John 15: 5.  “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.”

The Vine…. the connector between the root and the fruit. No fruit is possible without that vine. Yes, Jesus is that for me!


When I get all stuck on myself, and huffy in spirit, and thinking I am in control…. When I start to believe that I am the master of my ship, the designer of my own universe, the owner of my body….  When I begin to act like I am charge of my own destiny….  then I lose sight of Jesus as I AM.  I try so often to put myself in this position: I am in charge of my fate.  I am the mastermind. I am the hard worker. And the list goes on.

When I actually believe that I am I AM, then I begin to worship my own intellect, my own power, my own self….. and not put my worship where it belongs.

Father…. help me to remember that it is not all about me. Help me to remember that Jesus is not the the USED TO BE; He is the I AM. Help me worship Him in spirit and in truth.  Forgive me for trying to be the one in charge and for all my misplaced worship. Thank You for all these pictures of Jesus!

To God be the glory…..

Published in: on October 2, 2017 at 4:00 am  Leave a Comment  
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When I Don’t Deserve It….. Grace

Just Thinking…..

We just concluded a vacation that we had spent months planning. Every route, every lodging: planned. Every person we intended to see: planned. Every site or event we were going to attend: planned. All costs: planned.

What we didn’t plan was a sudden illness.

We had just finished time in Texas with dear friends, time at the Gulf of Mexico being beach bums, time exploring San Antonio and Waco, time digging for diamonds in Murphreesboro, and were planning to spend some time in Hot Springs, and then on to see family and then HOME!

But now time was not on our side. After supper in Hot Springs, the Hubs became suddenly and violently ill. There was no warning. One moment he felt fine. The next he was retching…. at both ends…. if you know what I mean. I wondered if he had food poisoning, but we had eaten the same things for the past several meals, and I was fine. As his illness continued into the night, it became apparent he could not travel the next day. He would have to have immediate access to a bathroom, and that’s just not possible on the road.

I wasn’t sure what to do. We knew that lodging in Hot Springs was scarce this time of year. But I talked to the innkeeper early the next morning, explaining our situation. He said he would work out something, and he did indeed work his magic, allowing us an extra night. He went beyond that, bringing us some supplies, offering to take the Hubs to the ER. Hubs was able to rest and somewhat recover. We will always be grateful for the compassion of the innkeeper and his wife. Grace.

We left Hot Springs a day later, and traveled those winding, hilly, curvy, heart stopping drop-dead-beautiful Ozark scenic routes in Arkansas. Those routes will clench your stomach under normal conditions; Hubs was not experiencing normal conditions. Nevertheless, we safely made it to Missouri to see our relatives. Grace.

We had a great time seeing the aunts, the uncle, the cousins, having dinner together, sharing stories, laughing…. and then my sister called to say they were taking Mom to ER. Argh…. we were still a day’s journey away….. and we can’t drive at night. We stayed over night at a cousin’s home and intended to leave as early as possible in the morning. But the Hub’s bug found my digestive system suddenly… without warning… during the night. The only difference is that mine was accompanied with chills, shaking, and deep muscle and joint pain. My cousin graciously offered to let us stay another night, but we feared that, if not already done, we would pass on the bug to her and the rest of the family. But we did stay longer that let me rest some. Grace.

I probably should have stayed the extra night. The trip back on this last leg was excruciating. The pain intensified to the point that I was moaning and crying. Hubs was doing his very best to reassure me and get me home safely. And he did. He was not feeling good, and I was feeling worse when we pulled into our driveway. But we had made it home. Grace.

Grace is something that we receive which we do not deserve, nor have we earned it. It is a freely given gift. Nothing nor nobody owed us safety on the roads or places to stay in the situation we were in. It was grace. But grace has the habit of being generous and expansive… over the top.

Here’s what happened when some of God’s people heard of our situation. One family offered to drive down to get us…. drive thru three states…. and bring us and our car back home. There is no way we deserved kindness like that. Grace.

Another family came by with a fruit basket, overflowing with grapes, apples and oranges, to help us to a healthy recovery. We had never done anything to deserve that. Grace.

Another family came by with two kinds of soup, a loaf of bread, cheese, and fresh veggies. Grace.

It was an overwhelming compassion, a kind generosity….. a grace prompted by God. Truly, it brought tears. We are still trying to recover from this illness, and grace will see us through.

You might dismiss my story by saying that people are just naturally kind and helpful, and that grace has little to do with it. I certainly will allow you this opinion, and I agree that many (not all) people are kind and helpful. But I stand by my belief that God knew our situation and that He provided just what we needed just when we needed it. Grace.


It reminds me of a wonderful verse of Scripture:
In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. (1 Thess. 5: 18).

Note that it doesn’t say to give thanks FOR everything. Just to give thanks IN everything…. meaning in the midst of everything going on. In the midst of an illness and uncertain travel, we gave thanks that God provided the innkeeper, the cousin, the friends, the safety and provision. Grace.



Marvelous grace of our loving Lord,
Grace that exceeds our sin and our guilt!
Yonder on Calvary’s mount outpoured,
There where the blood of the Lamb was spilled.

Grace, grace, God’s grace,
Grace that will pardon and cleanse within;
Grace, grace, God’s grace,
Grace that is greater than all our sin.

–Julia H. Johnston

O Father…. Thank YOU for YOUR ultimate grace: granting me life with YOU forever in heaven through the sacrifice of YOUR Son. Thank YOU for the little grace notes that carry us through this life time. Thank YOU for the grace that sets YOUR plans over our plans. In the name of Jesus,


Published in: on April 2, 2017 at 8:29 pm  Leave a Comment  

Lukewarm Christian???

Just thinking……

Would you agree with me that the word “Christian” is glibly used, loosely defined, and bent to justify all sorts of behavior and worldviews?


We all (who call ourselves Christian) tend to supply our own meaning and apply that to our own lives. Can you identify with any of the following?

  1.  I am Christian because I am American and maybe even Republican.
  2.   I don’t drink much, don’t smoke, don’t swear, don’t overeat, only gamble occasionally, and don’t mess around. That pretty well defines being Christian.
  3.   My parents went to church, so I’m probably a Christian.
  4.   I help other people; doesn’t that make me Christian?
  5.   I give to the building program. Bingo! I’m Christian!!
  6.   I’m generally nice, generally tell the truth, generally do the right thing, and I’m sure that means I’m Christian.
  7.   I wear a cross necklace, carry a rosary, and wear a necktie with sacred words on it. People can tell I’m a Christian because of that.
  8.   I go to church when I can. God knows there are times I can’t go…. times like vacation, kids sports, family times, bad weather, don’t feel good, overslept, hung over, bored, want to just be outside doing something, …… If I at least go sometimes, I think that counts towards my Christian brownie points.
  9.   I have a WWJD card in my wallet. That’s close enough.
  10.   I belong to a church. And I’ve read some of the Bible. And that’s enough for me.

It seems that ideas like sacrifice, sin, Jesus, obedience, belief, forgiveness, repentance just don’t fit in with that list.

Now before you jump on me for being judgmental, let me assure you that I am completely incapable of judging someone’s heart. I may judge actions as right or wrong (and so does every court), but I honestly can’t fathom whether you are a Christian or not. God knows. I don’t. But I  am fairly sure that the above 10 actions don’t make one a Christian. They just don’t speak to John 3:16.

So let’s suppose that you truly have been born again. You have come to the point of realizing that your sin is offensive to a holy God, and you have repented…. turned away…. from it. Yes, you may slip every now and then, but your heart grieves when you do, and you turn again to God. You believe that Jesus died to pay the price for your sin, and you believe that He rose again, and you believe that He is even now preparing your eternal home in Heaven, and you believe that He will come again, and take You home. You know that you have been forgiven.  He is your Savior.

Excellent. But then why does your life feel sort of empty…. sort of half there…. sort of lukewarm? Where is that sense of victory, of overcoming, of joy? Where is that first love? Or….. even worse…. perhaps you have absolutely NO feeling that life is empty…. don’t even recognize the half-hearted situation?

Revelation 3: 15:  I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other!


Francis Chan, in Crazy Love, lists 18 characteristics of lukewarm Christians. I encourage you to get and read the book. See if you fit into any of these statements:

  1.  Lukewarm people attend church regularly because it is expected.
  2.  Lukewarm people give money to charity and church… as long as it doesn’t impinge on their standard of living.
  3.  Lukewarm people tend to choose what is popular over what is right.
  4.  Lukewarm people don’t really want to be saved from their sin, but rather from the penalty of their sin.
  5.  Lukewarm people are moved by stories about people who do radical things for Christ, but they themselves do not act.
  6.  Lukewarm people rarely share their faith with their neighbors, coworkers, or friends.
  7.  Lukewarm people gauge their morality or goodness by comparing themselves to the secular world.
  8.  Lukewarm people say they love Jesus, and that He is a part of their lives. Only a part.
  9.  Lukewarm people love God, but not with all their heart, soul, and strength.
  10.  Lukewarm people love others but do not seek to love others as much as they love themselves.
  11.  Lukewarm people will serve God and others, but there are limits to how far they will go, and how much time and money and energy they are willing to give.
  12.  Lukewarm people think about life on earth much more than they think about eternity in Heaven.
  13.  Lukewarm people are thankful for their luxuries and comforts, and rarely consider trying to give as much as possible to the poor.
  14.  Lukewarm people do whatever is necessary to keep themselves from feeling too guilty.
  15.  Lukewarm people are continually concerned with playing it safe.
  16.  Lukewarm people feel secure because they attend church, made a profession of faith, were baptized, came from a Christian family, vote Republican, or live in America.
  17.  Lukewarm people do not live by faith; their lives structured so they never have to.
  18.  Lukewarm people probably drink and swear less than average, but besides that, they really aren’t very different from your typical unbeliever.

(Really…….. you need to get this book and read it!)



When I studied this list with our small group, I was convicted that I am lukewarm at times.  I’ve played it safe…. straddled the fence.  It’s not what I want for my life; I want to be sold out. I want to be hot! Not cold…. not lukewarm. HOT! I want to be on fire for Jesus. I want the boldness to declare Him to the people around me, to stand for the truth, and to finally kneel before my God and hear Him say, “Well done, good and faithful servant.”

Matthew 7: 21:  Not everyone who says to me, “Lord, Lord” will enter the kingdom of Heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father

O Father! Forgive me for being wishy-washy, for being timid and afraid, for not truly understanding what it means to be Christian. It’s not as if I have not been told. I am so sorry that I have wasted part of my life in just being lukewarm.   I ask for Your boldness to live a victorious life for Your glory.   That’s all that counts.

To God be the glory….

When I Grow Up, I Want To….

Just thinking….


Have you seen him?   That bright eyed little boy, jumping up and down with excitement, shouting unequivocally that he is going to a cowboy when he grows up, rootin’, tootin’ fastest one in the West.

Have you seen her?  She’s the shy one who wants to take care of boys and girls in the hospital, but for now she works on her Barbies.

Pretty common for kids to muse their futures and make declarations of what they want to be, what they want to do, where they want to go.  Rarely do we ever hear declarations like these:

  1.  When I grow up I want to be homeless.
  2.   When I am an adult, I want to be bankrupt and lose my house and car.  Maybe even my family.
  3.   My goal in life is to be unstable and go through as many relationships as possible. I want to be divorced.  I want to be bitter.
  4.   I can see myself being a school drop out (or kicked out) and losing a lot of  low-pay jobs.
  5.   What I really want in life is to be addicted to drugs…. alcohol…. tobacco…. gambling… sex.
  6.   My dream is to be an unmarried teen parent.   That will be cool.
  7.   I’m hoping to be in trouble with the law, maybe just little things at first, but I’ll work up to the big things.  My goal is prison.
  8. To me, growing up means I can be disrespectful to my parents and grandparents,  my teachers, and the law.  Then I can blame them for everything!!
  9. Getting a sexually transmitted disease….. or developing lung/mouth cancer from smoking…. or maybe having a baby that has fetal problems from my alcohol and drug use…… yeah, that’s what I want for my future.
  10.   When I grow up, I want to be self-centered .  Who needs friends or family?
  11.   My vision for the future is to  mess up really big and then give up, and then kill myself.

Right.   Most kids just don’t see any of these as their future self.  And yet……


Yet it happens.   That cute little boy who just wants to be a fireman ends up to be number 5 on the list.   That precious girl who wants to be a ballerina and a mama becomes number 6.  That junior high kid who is anxious to be in high school becomes number 4.   That promising high school student looking forward to college  ends up as number 3….. or number 11.    It wasn’t what they intended.   But it’s where they landed.

For whatever reason, they don’t see that every single choice they make today affects tomorrow.   Call it immaturity.  Call it lack of self control.  Lack of vision.   Lack of education.  Lack of church. Lack of discipline.

There’s a huge disconnect between dreams and reality.   Probably not a new problem.  But what do we do about the dream train derailing?

Dreams shatter.   They go unfulfilled.  They fade away.   I had a dream of my home being filled with lots of children.  For reasons beyond my control, it never happened.  But some dreams are within our grasp…. and yet we lose our grip.

Some dreams require so much work that they seem impossible.   I wanted to be a teacher; I had dreamed of it for years.  But the reality is that I had no money and wasn’t the brightest one in my class.  Yet with guts and sweat, I made that dream come true.

Here’s how Langston Hughes put it:

What happens to a dream deferred?
Does it dry up
Like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore–
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over–
like a syrupy sweet?
Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.
Or does it explode?

So very very sad.  Our children are our treasure.   This next generation is a promise.  I want that little cowboy and nurse and fireman and ballerina to see that their future is possible.  I want them to dream BIG, and pursue excellence, and enjoy life to the fullest.  I want them to know that even if they make mistakes that destroy some dreams…. that God forgives and restores  and renews.

O Father!  Give us wisdom to make right choices.   Give us compassion for those who are in trouble.  Give us what we need to make a difference.  Give us understanding and motivation to make the world a better place for our children.  Give us strength and boldness to pursue our dreams for Your glory.

To God Be The Glory…..


Published in: on May 16, 2016 at 3:26 pm  Leave a Comment  

Suppose It’s Motherless Day

Just Thinking….


Suppose it’s Mother’s Day…. and you gave your baby away when you were 17 because you were scared, and it’s what they told you to do.

Suppose it’s Mother’s Day, and your child lies in a grave somewhere, maybe in a cemetery near your home, or perhaps in a foreign war zone.

Suppose it’s Mother’s Day, and your mama doesn’t know your name any more.

Suppose it’s Mother’s Day, and you remember all over again that you decided to end your baby’s life.

Suppose it’s Mother’s Day, and your child slammed the door and left, and you have no idea if he is alive, or where she is.

Suppose it’s Mother’s Day, and still no baby rests in your womb or in your arms.

Suppose it’s Mother’s Day, and you try to forget how your own mom screams that you were a mistake and that she regrets that you were ever born.

Suppose it’s Mother’s Day, and all you have left is a picture, and pain in a void that you didn’t even know existed.

Suppose it’s Mother’s Day, and the state just moved your foster child into another home.

Suppose it’s Mother’s Day, and you wait by the phone for the call that never comes.


All the chocolate and flowers and perfume and jewelry and snazzy greeting cards don’t cut it.

All the images posted on Facebook don’t cut it.

All the glowing reports of breakfast in bed fixed by little hands don’t cut it.

All the sermons about the joys of motherhood don’t cut it.



I know. I was one of those mothers. The pain cuts deeper than anyone can fathom. The tears flow. The sense of solitude and loneliness settle in the soul.

Oh Father!
Help me be more sensitive to those who live the agony of motherless days and nights. Come…. and fill us with Your peace.
To God be the Glory…..

Published in: on May 9, 2016 at 2:27 am  Leave a Comment  

Getting the Green Light

Just Thinking……


How would you like to be called Uzzah?  Uzzah was not only stuck with a weird name (at least if he was alive now….), but he also died a most unfortunate death.  Unfortunate because he was just trying to do something good.

Here’s what happened:  A revered holy object, the Ark of the Covenant, fell into the hands of the enemy.  King David, of the Israelites, determined that it was time to get the Ark back to its rightful place in the kingdom.  So he consulted with his military and political officials about the matter, and then announced it to the entire assembly of Israel.  Everyone agreed.  This was a good plan.  It was the right thing to do.


So they put the Ark on a new cart (see… not just any old cart), pulled by oxen, and Uzzah and Ahio guided the cart on the journey.  The people were celebrating with gusto: singing, playing lyres, harps, tambourines, cymbals and trumpets.  The Ark was coming home!!!!


Then… the unthinkable….. the oxen stumbled.  The Ark began to shift.   Uzzah put out his hand to steady the Ark…. just being protective.  And suddenly…. God struck Uzzah dead!!!!   DEAD!  Why?   Because he reached out and touched the Ark?  Or is there more to the story?  (You can read this part of the story in 1 Chronicles 13)

So the parade stopped.  The Ark was placed in a local home for three months.  And David returned to the City of David minus the Ark.  But David had not forgotten the Ark.  In Chapter 15, he prepared a special place for the Ark, with a special tent to shelter it.  Then he issued a new procedure for the transport.

“No one except the Levites may carry it.  The Lord has chosen them to carry the Ark of the Lord and to minister before Him forever.”   Then he summoned over 800 priests and Levites  and ordered them to purify themselves.  He told them, “Because you Levites did not carry the Ark the first time, the anger of the Lord our God burst out against us.  We failed to ask God how to move it in the proper way.”

What was the proper way?   Waaaaaay back when the Israelites were wandering in the wilderness, God gave them very specific instructions on building the Tabernacle and all the items within it, including the Ark.  The Tabernacle was designed to be portable, and specific directions were given on how to transport each item.   Check out this:

“You shall make poles of acacia wood and overlay them with gold. You shall put the poles into the rings on the sides of the ark, to carry the ark with them. The poles shall remain in the rings of the ark; they shall not be removed from it.… “(Exodus 25: 13-15)


So the Levites and priests followed David’s orders.  They purified themselves.  They put together a choir of Levites who were singers and musicians to sing joyful songs.  A skilled musician was appointed to lead the music.  Certain men were assigned to play certain instruments. Others were chosen to be guards for the Ark and some to sound the trumpets and clear the way.  They sacrificed seven bulls and seven lambs.  They wore priestly clothing, and David wore a priestly tunic.   And the parade commenced without incident; the Ark arrived safely in the City of David, and there was great joy and celebrating.

But poor Uzzah.   Struck dead for just touching the Ark during the first go-round.  Dead because they didn’t wait for the green light.  Dead for not following instructions.  Dead for not searching the Word of God for the correct procedure.


I’m so glad that God has not struck me dead when I fail to consult Him first in my decisions and actions.  And believe me….. I’ve done so many times.   I look at my planner…. my calendar…. my clock…. and make a decision and go with it.  It seemed right at the time.   In fact….. I’ve impulsively done/said things that I thought were God-honoring.  But they weren’t….. because I didn’t go about it correctly.


I don’t stop to see if God has given me the green light.  I don’t consult His Holy Word.   I don’t pray about the decision.  I plunge in with my instincts, and my intellect, and my emotions.  But I fail to wait on God.

I don’t want to be an Uzzah.   I don’t want to fail in asking God where and when and how to move.  I don’t want to assume that His commands are just some suggestions.  I don’t want to have to explain to a Holy God that I was just doing what my heart thought was right…. knowing all along that the heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked…. (Jeremiah 17:9).   I don’t want my pitiful defense to be that I relied more on me….. and less on Him.  I don’t want to walk on red.


Oh Father!  Forgive me for my impetuous nature…. for speaking and acting first without thinking and praying.  Forgive me for making You last and not first in all that I do.   Lord, prepare me to be a sanctuary….. worthy….. in Your perfect timing and in Your perfect ways.  Help me rest during Your red lights, and go only You give me the green light.

To God be the Glory,



Published in: on April 24, 2016 at 10:25 pm  Leave a Comment  

Big Footsteps in the Big Snow

Just Thinking…..


Growing up in rural Iowa meant snow. Lots of snow. And since I was a tiny thing, the snow, of course, looked huge to me. Sometimes the drifts were higher than my head; I felt engulfed by the snow. To sink into a drift and only see the unending waves of white was terrifying.

I went to a one room country school, Cuba School, which was about a mile from our farm. Walking to school was no problem in the fall and the spring. But winter made a big problem. Big snow. Big challenge.


My father walked with me to school. He set off down the lane, and onto the gravel road leading to the school. His legs were long, and his footsteps were large. But he walked at a slower pace, with shorter distances between steps. I followed…. trying to match my little foot to his deeper imprint. Sometimes I was exhausted by the time we reached the schoolhouse, but I made it.

Our small group yesterday was discussing Chapter 3 in Fancis Chan’s book, “Crazy Love.” It was dealing with the concept of father and how our impressions and experiences with our earthly father impact our relationship with our Heavenly Father.

I began to think about our trek through the snow. My dad made sure that his path was not impossible to follow. He was there with me all the way, and he broke the path so that I could walk in it. And I know that if I had fallen from the exhaustion, that he would have picked me up and carried me.


Isn’t that like our Heavenly Father? He will lead…. if I let Him. He will be there all the way. He will make the path possible for me to walk, even it is challenging to do so. And He will carry me when I can no longer walk. I just have to be willing to go.

He’s a good, good Father. That’s Who He is. That’s Who He is.


Father, forgive me when I am unwilling to even begin on the snowy drift covered path. Forgive me when I look at it as an impossible journey. Forgive me when I try to veer off onto my own path. And thank You for leading, for always being there, for picking me up when I can no longer go on my own.

To God Be The Glory

Published in: on April 18, 2016 at 6:11 pm  Leave a Comment  

Pack My Soul In a Ragged Portfolio

Just Thinking…..


My first year of teaching was painful…. horrible. I hereby apologize to all my former students from that first year, because I certainly did not give you what you deserved. I had a good education, but somewhere along the line, no one taught me how to handle all the paperwork that went along with being an English teacher. No one taught me how to translate what I learned in college into something to tickle the minds of high school students. No one taught me the stress of doing grades in an era before calculators. No one taught me about the horrors of parent/teacher meetings. They probably tried to teach me….. but I didn’t get it.

So besides going to the Army recruiting office to sign up at the end of that very long horrible year (they were closed, by the way, so I went back and signed my contract for year 2), I dealt with the pressures in my life by writing. That had been my pattern for years: put my fears and frustrations and confusions on paper. I had journals and notebooks and scraps of paper everywhere with my original writings and things that I had copied because they meant so much to me.


During that terrible year, I wrote a poem about packing my soul into a ragged portfolio, touching on the rigors of being a first year teacher. To my surprise, it was published in our state education magazine. It didn’t alleviate all the pain from that year, but it helped. I found the courage to keep on going.


That’s often been the purpose with which I write: to sort out pain and to get rid of pain. Sometimes I have questions that I want to explore. Sometimes I just want to be funny. Sometimes I have insights to share. Many times I just get philosophical and muse Scripture or inspirational snippets. I’ve published several articles, stories and poems over the years, won some writing contests, but that Soul in a Portfolio still remains special to me. I do more writing now on a computer than I do on paper, but the essence of writing/thinking/feeling/seeing is still there.


My son also did a bit of writing. He wrote a poem about our family being like a lizard (yeah, really….). He stated that Dad was the head, overseeing the direction we would go. Mom (that’s me!) was the little feet pitter patting around to get everything done. And he saw himself as the tail…. which would one day break off. He was good at observation, watching those little lizards in our woods. But his sharp mind also saw the connections to life. And yes, his poem was published.

th copy

Now my granddaughter is foraying into the field of writing. She has the intellect, the observation, the emotion of a writer. She is reading other writings and jotting down the parts that touch her and impress her. I want to encourage her to keep on reading, keep on writing, keep on observing, keep on thinking, keep on feeling, keep on listening, keep on BEING!!!! Don’t be afraid of your own words and thoughts. Don’t compare yourself too much to others. Be yourself because you are worthwhile. You have a story to tell; tell it the best way you can right now. Remember, dear granddaughter, you are Right Here…. Right Now….. Glory be.

Grab a journal and carry it everywhere. Write…. Write…. Write…. Make this your ragged portfolio….. carry your soul in it.


And in doing so, you will echo your great great grandfather, who wrote in a journal almost every day of his life, once he learned to write. Dear Granddaughter, writing can be a way to find God, to find His perfect will, as your writing becomes prayers of praise and petition. Write!!!

O Father! You have given us the gift of language. You have given us the ability to see and think and feel. Help us to use these gifts wisely, and most of all, to use these gifts for Your purpose and for Your glory. You are what it’s all about.
To God be the Glory


Published in: on November 9, 2014 at 9:52 pm  Comments (2)